So this was initially supposed to be a place where I would update sparingly every day with a cryptic little tidbit of my life, a somewhat aloof concept that has already fallen through. Instead, I think I shall use this as an actual blog, purely because I find myself seeking to document things almost every moment of every day. I have two different physical diaries on the go as we speak, as well as an app on my iPhone that allows me to record bits of my day, and they’re all a bit much-of-a-muchness. Not only that, but they’re private.

By starting this blog, I’m deliberately putting a very public system of documentation out there. Anyone can read this, hell, I’m publishing it to my damn facebook feed. My mother might be reading this right now, my friends from Prince’s Trust, anyone who stumbles across this page. Then again, they might not be.

By doing this, I hope to remove any last trace of self-consciousness I previously held. Came a time when I never would’ve dared put something like this out there so publically - I risked derision, people questioning the things I wrote, the intimate details I included. So I kept everything reasonably private, locked to a specific group of people that never would and never could know me truly. By doing this, I’m taking a step into transparency. I am who I am, as it were and all that. I think I’ve finally accepted that I’m probably not going to change anymore, and in the interest of self-acceptance, I should probably come to terms with who I am. I mean, I can’t be all bad, can I? A great woman once said, “But now I know the things I know, and do the things I do. And if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you.”

As it is, I’ve completely forgotten what it was I wanted to talk about here. Oh well, I’m sure it’ll come to me. I’ve already updated this with my bucket list (written in about half an hour earlier today) and a photograph of said physical list, so that’s something interesting. I’ve achieved something today.

Bank holiday tomorrow. Birthday on Tuesday. Oh, good.

The list itself.

1. Have sex on a trampoline.
2. Go on holiday with my friends.
3. Feel comfortable in my own skin.
4. See the Northern Lights.
5. Witness the running of the bulls.
6. Visit every continent.
7. Perform in another play or musical (as of 02/05/2010).
8. Earn £1,000,000.
9. Make some money doing something I love.
10. Find my life’s passion.
11. Experience true love.
12. Earn a phD.
13. Finish a college course.
14. Live alone.
15. Experience unconditional happiness.
16. Discover something new and name it.
17. Get married in my dream wedding dress.
18. Inspire someone.
19. Have a child.
20. Learn a new skill.
21. Learn a new language (and use it).
22. Comfort a stranger.
23. Change someone’s life for the better.
24. Walk in a fashion show.
25. Spend a day performing random acts of kindness.
26. Teach someone something.
27. Fire a gun again.
28. See Angel Falls in Venezuela.
29. Go skinny-dipping at midnight in a foreign country.
30. Drink expensive wine in France.
31. Spend one year in a foreign country.
32. Attend a Grand Prix.
33. Do something illegal.
34. Be in a film.
35. Tell someone everything about myself. No secrets.
36. Hug a stranger.
37. Experience a ‘chick flick’ moment.
38. Ride a camel.
39. Learn to dance.
40. Sing in front of a large crowd of strangers.
41. Write a book.
42. Pack a bag, get on a train and run away.
43. Go on an adventure.
44. Have a best friend.
45. Go to Cambridge and row on the river.
46. Have breakfast at Tiffany’s.
47. Fall in love with a stranger in Paris.
48. Try marijuana.
49. Kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s.
50. Participate in a protest about something I care about.
51. Visit a warzone.
52. Spend a night sleeping under the stars.
53. Learn to juggle.
54. Kiss someone in the rain.
55. Do something impulsive.
56. Tell everyone who has helped me that I’m grateful.
57. Drive a Formula 1 car.
58. Meet a member of a royal family.
59. Spend a night in a palace.
60. Wear a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes.
61. Grow a poppy.
62. Get a tattoo.
63. Gamble in Las Vegas.
64. Kiss Oscar Wilde’s gravestone.
65. Visit Auschwitz.
66. Research my family tree and learn about my ancestors.
67. Wear a Dior dress.
68. Learn the art of burlesque.
69. Make love outside, at night.
70. Go back to Dartmoor with friends.
71. Buy a hotdog from a street vendor in NYC.
72. Have something named after me (by someone else).
73. Receive a compliment gracefully.
74. Fly a plane.
75. Watch the launch of a space shuttle at Kennedy Space Center.
76. Experience flying in first class.
77. Invent something useful.
78. Own a dog.
79. Make a memorable impact on a stranger.
80. Eat local cuisine in India.
81. Take a photograph on Shibuya crosswalk, Tokyo.
82. Climb a mountain.
83. Watch a volcano erupt.
84. Have a near-death experience.
85. Own my own home.
86. Learn to drive.
87. Cook a meal from ingredients I grew myself.
88. Have my artwork hang in a gallery.
89. Play tennis at Wimbledon.
90. See a UFO.
91. Stargaze with someone I love.
92. Bungee-jump.
93. Visit New Zealand and see Hobbiton and Edoras.
94. Perform at the Royal Albert Hall.
95. See a ballet.
96. Visit the Smithsonian.
97. Write a song and perform it to someone.
98. Eat in a Michelin-starred restaurant.
99. Recreate Kerouac’s journey from On the Road.
100. Document a year of my life in photographs.
101. Change the world for the better.